I think it is high time that I returned to my blog its initial purpose. It started out as a story-telling outlet, as a place where I would tell the story of my coming to America, and everything after that. It turned into more of a “here and now” kinda thing, and even though it’s good for me, and I like it, it’s not good for my “constancy.”
As it turns out, I am not a very constant person. I make decisions on the spot, in the spur of the moment, I take things on and don’t see them through (sometimes), I don’t always keep my promises to myself. This blog is one of those promises, and as one of my friends pointed out a couple of days ago, when it had been almost a week since my last post, I had already fallen behind, and was only days away from giving up completely. It wasn’t true, he had made that assumption based on my lack of activity, but it might as well have been – I hadn’t been writing simply because I didn’t feel like it.
My creative writing professor used to say that it doesn’t matter if you write well or not, the first step is to write. So just sit down at your desk every day and put something on paper. This will develop your capacity to write, and eventually quality will come. I have been doing that, writing in this blog much more constantly than I’ve ever done anything. Ever. However, lately I’ve gotten to the conclusion that I need to take the next step. Not only do I need to write, and constantly, but I need to write about the same thing all the time (my story) even though I don’t feel like it. At least for a while, this is what I intend to do. I need to keep myself on the task. Of course writing about what I think or feel daily is easier, but it is also less interesting and it falls into the realm of “too intimate” which is what my sister warned me against. I can’t help delving into my thoughts and feelings when I read books which bring various aspects to surface, and I think that especially now that I am reading a psychotherapy book I would do well to steer away from personal postings.
So look forward to the 4th episode of my story, titled “Cape Cod and a Baby”
Diana Goes to America 